Journal #4
Chapter #4
During this chapter, Asher was changing even more from where he started. He was even doing things subconsciously. The fact that he had began to draw again was a big part of this. He did not even realize it at first that he was drawing. I think that he desperately needed to express his thoughts, and this was the only way. It was a little strange that he had drawn Stalin dead in his coffin, but the big predicament that he had been facing had a lot to do with this death. He was not sure about how he should be feeling about Stalin because it was creating many changes in his life. The Jews had stopped being killed by this evil man, which was a good thing. However, Asher's father had told him not to be happy about any enemies' death. On the other hand, along with this death, the family was going to have to move to Vienna.
Asher had conflicts going through his mind where he didn't know how to feel and he didn't know what he was going to do to convince his parent to stay where they are. He is proud of his father, but he is almost discouraged that he has to be such an important figure. He is forced to do whatever the Rebbe expects out of respect. I think that Asher will be drawing for a while, or at least until all of his mixed feelings get all cleared up. There are some big changes going on and he has to make sure that he deals with them in the right way. If going back to drawing is the only way that he can find to keep him happy, then his father just might have to let him do it.